I know why bikers shave

I always wondered by bicyclists shaved.

I heard it was if you got road rash the hairs wouldn’t get all stuck in the scabs. Ehwww, gross. I had also been told it was to cut down on wind drag, yeah right maybe it you are in the Olympics. So why is my girlfriend’s husband shaving? I always thought he was a closet drag queen.

Well now I know and I know I need to shave.

I finally broke down and got some of those shiny black bike tights.

Pearl Izumi shiny tights

All right everyone can quit snickering now. No I did not buy the ones with the chamois butt pad. I have been working my ass off, literally, so why would I then go buy a stupid pair of pants that make my ass look big? Or like I’m wearing a diaper?

I bought the pants because they are tight around the ankles so I don’t have to worry about catching my pants in the chain or have to remember to have one of those velcro things to wrap around my ankle.

And so I learned why bicyclist shave. Those pants have zippers on the bottom so you can get your big foot through them without falling over. Well that means you have to zip them down your leg. If you have long hair it catches it and rips it out. That shit hurts! DAMN.

Yes my leg hair is was that long. I’m single, screw it I’m not shaving.

So now that I shaved I dang well better get a date. I mean I really am looking high class now. I stand out when I go to the Co-op grocery store, all those hippie women are giving me the stink eye. Or it could be because I wax my stache off, wear makeup and deodorant!! Actually I’m surprised they even let me in the Co-op come to think of it.

image from fanpop.com

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10 thoughts on “I know why bikers shave

  1. Other reasons cyclists shave their legs: 1) Easier to massage after a ride, 2) Makes your leg muscles pop, and most important, 4) Allows you to use embrocation creams — these creams warm up the legs and allow you to wear shorts instead of tights down to about 40 degrees.

    • Hey good to know. I always wondered why crazy cyclists were running around in shorts all the time. I’m usually cold and not just when biking. Can you give me the name of these creams?
      Yeah my masseuse is probably thrilled that I remembered to shave. She is about the only reason I bother to in the winter. She shows her appreciation by digging her elbow just slightly less hard into my glutes.

  2. Fuck the dirty hippies giving you the stink-eye… sometimes it is a necessary evil… 😉

    I guess they would ostracize me as well… since I shave (on occasion) and wear deodorant (most of the time – unless I forget)…. But hey… I like being a black sheep among the black sheep 🙂

  3. Very funny! I always wondered why they shave their legs and now I know! My nephew who was a climber used to shave his because he said the climbing gear caught on his leg hairs or something like that.

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