I want this but…

I want this but don’t do this.

*SIGH* I hear some variation of this a lot. And almost invariably it ain’t possible! And I think they know it. Unlike a kid asking for the same thing over and over again until their parent gives in, pestering me will not suddenly change the physical laws of the universe and make it possible for you to have lots of  layers and body without cutting your hair. Or whatever impossible thing it is they want!

Most of the time I patiently explain the options. A, B, or C. Pick two. You can’t have all three.

Most people get it. I can do a lot, but I can’t do magic or change the laws of the universe. If I could things would be very different.

But some clients just push every time they come in. Like we haven’t had this conversation multiple times. “No your hair won’t do that and this is why. This is what your hair will do. We could try this? No? Or this? No? How about this?” Nope don’t want that. They still want what it won’t do.

Sometimes I do get really blunt. I have said “Not going to happen. Ever. No matter how many times you ask me.” Sometimes I swear I am talking to a three year old with ADD not a thirty-eight year old with a master’s degree.


Bored hair stylist

This is what happens when a hair stylist gets bored.

I had been thinking it has been a long time since I was blond. I also have some new products to play with so….

Yeah really this is my “natural” color.

Probably won’t get asked if this is my real hair color. It only took bleach, high lift color and some toner to get it. Actually it only would have taken high lift to get it this color if I hadn’t decided to keep the bangs, I shaved them off last time so I decided to keep them this time. Considering the torture I put them through their in pretty good shape. I may cut them off later, but at least they didn’t turn into snot and fall off. Yes, I have done that before. To my own hair, not a clients. I’m always willing to test the limits on my head because as you can see I’m also willing to really cut all my hair off.

Actually cutting all my hair off is one of my favorite things to do. A) I’m extremely lazy and it is really easy to do in the mornings. B) I often color the crap out of my fine hair and toast it C) It feels so soft when it is short and D) I like looking like a lesbian and E) I love screwing with my clients, they never know what I’m going to look like.

This is kind of what my hair looked like before I got bored.

Hair before boredom struck.

I actually prefer my hair darker. I know I’ll go back to something like this soon enough. But for now I’m blond again.

What is my natural color? Hell I don’t really know, I haven’t seen it in 20 years.

Actually that isn’t true. I saw it when I shaved it and before I dumped a bowl of tint on it. It was boring. I keep hoping it will turn white but it hasn’t yet or not enough to be cool looking. I am a dish water blond, that means my roots are this boring mousey brown until I spend time in the sun. And let’s get real I live in the PNW we don’t get much sun. This summer while the rest of the USA has been broiling we have had exactly one week of temps above 80 where I live. (Nehner-nehner-nehner! I love the cool weather.)

I’m already plotting my return to darker hair. I will keep it blond for a while. Heck I might even go platinum for a bit. I considered it this time but as I said I’m lazy and it is work to get it that blond. And I just wasn’t really feeling like doing the burn or blistering my scalp. Yes that happens or can if you try to go from colored dark hair to platinum blond in one sitting. I speak from experience, really it isn’t that bad but it takes forever. Women can grit it out and do it, men I have seen cry, wussies.

But for now it is blond and I look like a lesbian.

Firing a client

It isn’t an easy decision but sometimes you have to.

It takes a lot for me to fire a client. I never have liked to do it. Thankfully it doesn’t have to be done very often. I mean really most people know when it isn’t working with their stylist and just move on. But not some people.

I had a client that was never happy with her haircut. I mean never, there was always something wrong. Too short, too long, too many layers, not enough layers, the angle of the fringe was wrong. It was never quite right. But here is the thing she would always refer to that haircut I gave her two haircuts ago, that one was perfect she wanted me to do it exactly like I had then. Two haircuts ago.

I would stress out every time I saw her name on the books. I knew she would be a pain. Literally I would have to stop every step of the way and show her what I was doing and explain why. This was after a twenty minute discussion before I was even allowed to shampoo her. And yet with all this direction I would still not get it right.

I really did try but I just don’t think we were talking the same language. We would look at pictures, we would talk about what she wanted her hair to do. She wanted a lot of things that contradicted each other. Maybe it was me, I don’t know. But one day I just said to her “You know you are never happy with the haircut I give you. I have been doing your hair for a year now and I just can’t seem to get it right. I really have tried but maybe I’m just not the right hairstylist for you.”

She began to argue with me by saying “Well two haircuts ago….” I kid you not. I cut her off and said “No, two haircuts ago you weren’t happy either. You always say that but trust me, I know, you have never been happy with my work. I’m sorry but I think it might be time to find another stylist.”

That was that. I hope she found someone that could give her the haircut she wanted.

I talk to myself

Or why I blog part 2. I talk to myself, a lot.

Usually in my head but out loud sometimes. And these aren’t short conversations, like am I out of milk? No these are long colloquies. I talk to myself, answer, disagree, argue, discuss. There is quite the symposium going on in my head.

Maybe I spend too much time alone.

I know I enjoy the conversations and blogging is very similar to the internal dialog I have. I am not sure if everyone talks to themselves the way I do. There is definitely at least two “voices” in my head, I mean you can’t have an argument with one person. No I am not saying there is someone else in my head, but I do have  point and counter point conversations with myself.

Photo from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Blogging is an extension of this. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am a little touched. In a way it allows me to legitimize what I already do. I figure with so many people blogging either I am not so different or we are all rage egotists, or a bit of both.

Do you talk to yourself? Do you answer and argue with yourself?

Stress, how do you deal?

I am stressed and I suck at it.

I actually wrote this post a few weeks ago but didn’t publish it. Why? Because when it comes to negative shit in my life I don’t like to go around advertising it. In a way I am superstitious, I don’t want to attract more bad stuff. And I come from that Scandahoovian stock that thinks you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps. This also means I suck at asking for help when I need it. Martyr complex, anyone?  

I am having a hard time concentrating. Lots of ideas about how to deal with the stress in my life but no momentum. Ironic that sometimes when I get depressed I have lots of energy but no focus. I can spend an entire day running around but accomplish nothing.

I don’t know if this is better than when I am depressed and have no energy? When I sleep 10, 12 hours and still feel tired. At least then I know why I am getting nothing done.

This too will hopefully pass and I will become more productive again. Of course hopefully I won’t go into one of those crazy phases my family likes to call Kim’s gone manic again.

Vicious circle, depression stresses me out and I get nothing done. Getting nothing done stresses me out. I do see the irony in this.


I know I put my mojo somewhere, but I can’t seem to find it.

Usually I am in full crazy project mode at this time, but not this year. I should probably just sit back and enjoy it.

But some how I just can’t, I feel like I should be doing something. I keep thinking I am forgetting something and it is going to come back to bite me. Even though it is still summer, the days are getting noticeably shorter already and I keep thinking what have I done this year?

When the days are short and cold in the winter I have no problem just hibernating, curling up with a book and doing nothing, but that is because I feel like I deserve it after a long busy summer of projects.

Well I hope I find my mojo soon! God knows I don’t want to have a major hole in an outside wall when the winds and the rains start! Maybe I just need to simultaneously start all those little projects that need finishing. The ones I always put off because I have something big in the works. I never have been good at the time consuming finish work, I’m male like that. It is way more fun to get out the big boys tools and tear something up that could cause the house to fall down. Now there’s a rush!

That could be my problem, I’m looking for a big rush of adrenalin and I just don’t get it carefully cutting trim to finish the fireplace surround.

You don’t lose your chance just your place in line

This is the unofficial motto of dating in my small town.

Pretty much this is true. And if you don’t/can’t stand seeing you exs all the time well then you are screwed.

I am lucky; I either still like my exs, they moved away or I can’t stand them but I look better than their current girlfriend/wife.

Dating in a small town can be difficult. Well I’m not sure difficult is the right word maybe different. In some ways it resembles high school, oh god yes. I mean you know who they have already slept with and have to deal with that. Oh hell, you may be friends with their exs but that can be good you can get the lowdown on their skills or lack of and whether it is even worth putting on a dress.  Forget the dress that means I’d have to shave and you know I probably forgot to do that, again.

Sometimes it can be hard to get up the desire to even go out because there is a really good chance that it will be the same people you saw out last week/month/year. Often inertia sets in and it just seems easier to stay home and read blog. You notice I am posting this on a Saturday night.  I thought about going out and then I though Meh.

Your single friends are in the same boat or mind set. And then your coupled up friends are no help at all at all. They just want to pair you up with their brother/cousin. I swear at least half this town is 2nd cousins to each other.

Your like “No what about that cute guy you work with?” Oh him? Yeah he’s nice but I don’t think your right for each other. Excuse me? Let me decide that! Hold it are you saying I’m not nice? Well maybe they are right cause all I’m thinking is  “Damn he is good looking maybe I just want to get laid!

Everyone seems to think they know what would be best for you. Argh!

So what do you do? Well I am home alone on a Saturday night. Hmmm, maybe I should just Facebook that guy and send him a message. Have another swig of wine. Yeah he won’t think I’m a complete nut job right?