DEET ~ you know mosquito repellent. Yep I’m going to talk about bug spray so you can probably just leave now.
Anyways the stuff is awful but it works. Well it works better than anything else in actually repelling mosquitoes. And it tastes like shit, I’ll explain that in a minute but first let me say, I don’t want to hear about all the “natural” stuff that works. It does not work. No.
You can try all the citronella, tea tree, Avon creams you want. The mosquitoes just consider those to be appetizers as they suck the blood out of you anyways. Good luck with that. I have tried them all. I’m the person at the party that the mosquitoes eat alive while not bothering anyone else. They love me, they are probably the only ones that think I am sweet.
I know what DEET tastes like because when I was a kid in Alaska I wanted to play outside. Imagine that!
Have you ever seen the mosquito swarms in Alaska? They literally form dark, buzzing clouds that can eat you alive. My mother, who always seemed to welcome her kids going outside actually sometimes she would shove us out the door and slam it shut behind us, would have to cover us in DEET. She would rub it everywhere, in our ears, in our hair, we looked like little 50’s greasers, between our fingers, everywhere. If you missed a spot you would have half a dozen bites on that area. When she got done covering our skin and that included our lips and eyelids, she would then spray our clothing with DEET too. And still we would get bit!
It was unbelievable how bad the mosquitoes were in the spring. By the way I don’t suggest visiting Alaska in the spring. I have watched a mosquito bite me through my jeans. I am also one of those people that have a big reaction to mosquito bites. They last about a week to ten days of itching and then another week to heal from the scab I got from scratching. I have been known to scratch myself bloody in my sleep. My mom used to tape gloves on my hands at night when I was badly bitten. Have you ever tried to sleep in the summer with gloves taped to your hands?
Actually the more I think about this the more I think I need to talk to my mother about her parenting ideas. We even have a picture of me in our family album of the time I got bit by a mosquito on my eyelid, I look like I was in a bar fight at the age of four.
So I have this love hate thing with DEET. I hate the smell of it, and it tastes worse but after a while your lips and tongue go numb so you can’t really taste it anymore anyways. I figure if I have neurological damage it isn’t from all the drugs I did as a teen, it is from all the DEET my mom made me eat as a kid.
Obviously I am on a rant about DEET. Why? Because I went hiking up to a lake and forgot to take it. And now I am trying to distract myself from ripping the skin off my elbows by writing this post. Both elbows have three bites each. Really, my elbows? I have about another ten bites on my back and shoulders but the ones on my elbows are the worst.
Benadryl cream helps but for the next week I will find myself mindlessly scratching myself. I look like my dog. Well at least it is better than the time I got bit on the inside of my thigh. Got a lot of strange looks then!