I do, and this can be a very bad thing.
The background, yes I have daddy issues, so what? I have always been attracted to older men, men old enough to be my father at times. And being my mother’s daughter I often am attracted to the same type of men she is. Wouldn’t be such a big deal except that we lived in the same small town for twenty years.
Here is where I learned to always run my choice in men by my mother first. Sounds kinda weird and sick? Well how does finding out you slept with someone your mother slept with sound? I think I’d rather clear my dates with my mom, aggravating as that can be as an adult, then find that out afterwards. Ehwww gross.
So a long time ago I had a male client and I found him attractive. I knew the feeling was mutual. We flirted and bantered when I cut his hair. This went on for a while but I think he was afraid to ask me out because I was twenty some years younger than him and the same age as some of his kids. I liked him and decided that I’d just have to do the asking.
Well before that happened, thank god, I mentioned this to my mom one day as we were driving.
Mom “So what is his name?”
Me “His name is Gary Bloomfield.” * pseudonym to annoy the gossip harpies
Mom “Oh I knew him.”
Oh shit! I knew exactly what she was saying! My mother has been single most of my life and I grew up with her dating, hence the problem of us liking the same kind of male. But I don’t ever remember GB being around and I would have.
Me “What the hell? When? How come I don’t know this? He wasn’t one of your boyfriends.”
Well to get to the point and keep this post from turning into a novella. He wasn’t one of her boyfriends but during a wild period in her life (which consisted of most of her thirties) they had, shall we say, a clandestine and torrid affair while both of them were involved with someone else.
She said with an evil gleam in her eye “You should tell him I said hi next time you see him.”
I should tell you my mother and I look a lot alike so I’m not surprised GB was attracted to me. Hey we all have our types. And I do not have the same last name as my mother so that wouldn’t have given away that I was her daughter.
The next hair appointment I say to him, “Hey my mom said to tell you hi.”
GB “Oh, who is your mom?”
Me, totally deadpan tell him my mother’s name. And I watch this play of emotions go across his face, confusion, realization, horror, embarrassment, sadness, resignation.
GB sighed and said “Oh I used to date your mother.”
Me “No, you two had an affair.”
GB “Does she tell you everything? Well now that you mention it you do look a lot like your mother. How come I didn’t know she had a daughter? You don’t have the same last name as her.”
Me “Yeah we don’t have the same name. You probably didn’t know about me because I had just moved out about the time you and my mom were getting to know each other.”
Twenty years later he is still my client, we have become friends. Needless to say the flirting ended that day.
Also as I have gotten older the men I tend to be attracted to are closer to my own age. The truth is the age of the men I would have dated twenty plus years ago are now the age I am. Good thing I have changed some or I would be trolling the nursing homes for a date. Wheelchairs just aren’t my idea of a hot ride these days.