I have been thinking about making some major changes to my life.
I’d love to just do it. You know Poof and it is done, but life doesn’t usually work that way. I have been known to pull off some big changes like that.
Or at least to others it seems like that is what I did. But the reality is a little different, there was a lot going on for a long time behind the scenes.
So once again I am thinking about turning my life upside down. That means doing a lot of work again. It also means taking some chances. Doing things that might have consequences. It hopefully will work out; I will end up in a better space than I am now but…..
Not all my choices have worked out but ultimately they have taught me something important. I am in my mid forties now, how many more chances am I going to take? Well I don’t know, but hopefully this isn’t the last one. Seriously when you start living too cautiously are you really still living?
This is the pep talk I give myself when I am contemplating doing something that frightens the shit out of me. Ah what the hell is the worse thing that can happen? Ah you should see me grinning right now, and it isn’t a smile of happiness more like a sardonic grimace. Well I have seen bad and I have seen worse. I’m still here to talk about it.
It is funny, I hate change and yet I thrive on it. I’ve confided in some people about my plans and they all agree it is a big chance but urge me to do it. I need to be challenged or I just don’t feel like I’m alive.
Using the word hopeful quite often in this post.