Arghhh!

Feast or famine would be a good way to describe my life.

So I have decided to go back to school. I start a full class load in January, luckily I can start out by doing it online. Worry about commuting, working and going to school full time in a couple of quarter. Worry about the paying for it too, later, hence the working full time and going to school full time. But that isn’t what this post is about, exactly.

I start school again in a week; I have a lot I need to get done before the third. Like wrapping up re-financing my house, getting back on the healthy eating thing or as I like to call it this first week of no cookies, famine. I also need to get my paper work for the end of the year in order so that I won’t be trying to do my taxes while taking finals. Oh and I will be doing all my classes online this quarter so, of course, my internet connection is acting up.

I’m a bit cranky with the no sugar thing. Sugar is my drug of choice these days, and I have been on a bender. Hard not to when everyone is a pusher at this time of year. Unfortunately my choice of drug makes me fat and cranky unlike some drugs that make a person cranky and thin. Pot is legal now in my state so I guess I could be mellow and chunky but the problem with that is most junk food tastes like crap. I may be a sugar junkie but I am a snooty one, I like my sweets to be organic and handmade!

Some days are cookie days.

Some days are cookie days.

Hopefully the new router will fix the internet situation. I signed all the paperwork for the re-fi and that should be done, unless the bank pulls some asshattery. I am somewhat successfully weaning myself off the daily sugar rush but boy is it hard. Do not get between me and a coconut macaroon, you could get trampled. If WP doesn’t eat any more of  my posts I’ll be happy.

Happy New Year! And I say that without my usual sarcasm and sneer, I hope that this year will be good to all my fellow bloggers. It sure looks like it will be an interesting one for me. I anticipate I will have time to keep up on my reading of your blogs during the ten minutes of personal time I have allotted myself once school commences again.

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My Holiday Post

Well I’m going to do a nice little post today. I won’t try not to rant about the lack of tolerance and such stuff. I’ll try to be a good person even though I don’t believe I will get sent to hell if I’m not.

I’ll just post some pretty pictures, I mean why not? So here you go pretty pictures…

Looks better than a pile of Kindles or Nooks!

Looks better than a pile of Kindles or Nooks!

Considering the trend to name kids weird things I predict this will be a best seller!

Considering the trend to name kids weird things I predict this will be a best seller!

All right I’m starting to run out of nice, that didn’t take long.ate mouse

Here is a picture of my Christmas tree, yes I have one but I don’t normally put it up. Just for you I pulled it out of storage and took a picture of it.

Yes that is a road safety cone.

Yes that is a road safety cone. Somewhere I have a matching life ring I use as a wreath.

OK, now I am going to go throw it back into the storage shed, got it out just for you. Now to answer that burning question, yes I was raised with Christmas and all that jazz.I was also raised eating box mac n cheese, don’t see me doing that anymore either. People grow up. Sorry science trumps flying fat men.

Yup this is true.

Yup this is true.

OK I think that went pretty well, don’t you? Actually I’m quite proud of my restraint. Time to quit.  Happy Holidays!

Things I am grateful for

The list of things I am should be grateful for this time of year. No this is not my possible Christmas post, I’m still thinking about celebrating Hogmanay instead this year.

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I finally had a day to ride my bike! While the roads are wet and muddy it wasn’t actually raining. I go to get on my bike and work off some of those calories from eating all the goodies and what do I find? I have a flat. Damn it, damn it, damn it all! As I’m pissing and moaning about having to take the time to change out the tire I realize I should be grateful. The last time I had a flat I was four miles from home and hadn’t remembered to take my kit with me. At least I was home and not sitting on the side of the road doing this.

As I went out the driveway I looked back at the cord of firewood that needs to be hauled to the backyard and stacked. Again I was reminding myself to be grateful. I love the feel of wood heat and this cord was relatively easy to split and move being as it was alder. It is again good exercise and I do like to see a purpose to sweating, besides eating more cookies.

I checked the mail on my way home. In it was a card with my mothers handwriting. I dreaded opening it as our relationship has been shall we say difficult for the last year. I sent her a card too and I am grateful that we are kind of communicating. I opened the card and it wasn’t as upsetting as it could have been. So yeah today I’m grateful for a lot of things, I just have to keep reminding myself what they are!

Did you know?

Zooming around the interweb, something I have been spending too much time doing lately.

But I find so much knowledge, things I never knew about and probably never needed to know about. That auto finish on google when you start to type something in and it tries to guess what you want before you finish, you know like that annoying friend (that would be me) that never lets you finish a sentence.

So things I have found, knowledge that must be passed on so that your brain can be cluttered up like Aunt Methuselah’s attic too. Wool puddle pads, this is a thing.

Labiaplasy before and after pictures. As if a woman didn’t have enough self-esteem problems, now you have to worry about what your vagina looks like. Will they start posting pictures of movie stars privates so we can go ask to get one just like Emma, Angelina or Gwyneth?

Did you know there is a website devoted to weird words? I actual think this one is cool, I like words and I’m figuring if you are a blogger you might too. I spend way too much time on merriam-webster.com as it is.

I also learned that these things have a name.

Furry bones things

Furry bones things

OK I have got to quit wasting time I have things I should be doing. Why is that always the best time to search the net?

Anyways I am contemplating doing a Christmas post but only if I can do it without sounding like a complete ass. Good luck with that, this will take much editing, so stick around for the shit show!

You really shouldn’t have.

I cancelled Christmas.

I could give you a lot of reasons but really it is because the presents suck. It is all about the presents. When I was a kid it was great, now not so much. Things I do not want for Christmas…

Hairdresser anything

Yes I drink coffee and I already have a mug.

Yes, I drink coffee and I already have a mug.

I do not want a hair stylist ornament or figurine

I do not want a hair stylist ornament or figurine thanks.

Believe it or not I do know what I am doing, no need to remind me.

Please do not pick out clothing for me.

No, just no.

No, just no.

Yes I like shoes, no I'm not a hooker. Or a reality star.

Yes I like shoes, no I’m not a hooker. Or a reality star.

God what ever you do, do not buy me underwear.

I think I am going to be sick.

I think I am going to be sick.

No jewelry either.

Really? Have you ever seen me wear anything that remotely looks like this?

Really? Have you ever seen me wear anything that remotely looks like this?

Gag gifts? Please they are just going to end up at goodwill with the coffee mugs and hair dresser ornaments.

You spent money on this?

You spent money on this?

A card is fine, please. I am a good liar but sometime I get a real work out this time of year. I don’t think I can fake any more enthusiasm.  If you must give me something, cash is king.