You really shouldn’t have.

I cancelled Christmas.

I could give you a lot of reasons but really it is because the presents suck. It is all about the presents. When I was a kid it was great, now not so much. Things I do not want for Christmas…

Hairdresser anything

Yes I drink coffee and I already have a mug.

Yes, I drink coffee and I already have a mug.

I do not want a hair stylist ornament or figurine

I do not want a hair stylist ornament or figurine thanks.

Believe it or not I do know what I am doing, no need to remind me.

Please do not pick out clothing for me.

No, just no.

No, just no.

Yes I like shoes, no I'm not a hooker. Or a reality star.

Yes I like shoes, no I’m not a hooker. Or a reality star.

God what ever you do, do not buy me underwear.

I think I am going to be sick.

I think I am going to be sick.

No jewelry either.

Really? Have you ever seen me wear anything that remotely looks like this?

Really? Have you ever seen me wear anything that remotely looks like this?

Gag gifts? Please they are just going to end up at goodwill with the coffee mugs and hair dresser ornaments.

You spent money on this?

You spent money on this?

A card is fine, please. I am a good liar but sometime I get a real work out this time of year. I don’t think I can fake any more enthusiasm.  If you must give me something, cash is king.

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7 thoughts on “You really shouldn’t have.

  1. I know I shouldn’t have, and I didn’t . . . but please know that you’ve got my respect and admiration. And no, there’s no gift receipt, so you can’t return it!!!!

  2. Please tell me where to find the butt-hole-in-one. I have a family member (or two) it would be PERFECT for…..
    I’m with you on the occupation as a present gifts. I always give my kid’s teachers gift certificates. I think they are painfully aware they are teachers, especially this time of year!

  3. I tried to cancel Christmas this year, I told everyone to NOT get me anything…. I have a feeling no one is actually going to listen.

    I hate getting gifts, it is uncomfortable and unnecessary….
    Seriously, feed me – that is gift enough…

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